“But you look okay.”

How many of you have heard something similar? Oftentimes those of us who struggle with an invisible disability are misunderstood. Because our condition is not marked by a cane, a wheelchair or an obvious physical abnormality, we are deemed to be fully functional and without excuse. We are often judged. Not only does this position us in a very lonely place, it also heaps undeserved and unneeded guilt on us.

My years of working with a chronic pain/illness support group have convinced me that I am certainly not alone in feeling alone. There are many who suffer with invisible blocks to productive living, and there’s heartache on that road.

The first heartache comes from our own feelings of failure and inadequacy. We long to be more dependable employees, more active servants in the church, more energetic parents, and better caretakers of our homes. We see ourselves as having a giant “L” on our foreheads, marking us as losers.

The second heartache comes from the comments and judgments from others. Why aren’t we working full-time? Why aren’t we teaching Sunday school? Why aren’t we more involved in the P.T.A.? What, exactly, is our problem?

Conditions such as chronic migraines, fibromyalgia, lupus, many forms of arthritis, advanced diabetes, allergies to fragrances and other common substances, and mental illness with its various manifestations keep many from living as fully as they desire. Yet, on the outside they look fine and perfectly capable. They are misunderstood.

I have a friend who suffers from the effects of poisoning due to exposure to toxic chemicals. Her lungs and brain were damaged, and her suffering is intense. She looks fine. In fact, she’s beautiful. But she is judged, not only by the general public and many in the Church, but she is also treated with skepticism by some medical professionals. Her diagnosis and treatment fall outside the box of traditional medicine. The mercy I feel for this dear soul is immeasurable.

In fact, in my many years of ministry to the suffering, I have discovered that most have had hurtful interactions with the medical community. If their condition is not easily identifiable, the physician sometimes suggests psychosomatic reasons for the symptoms. Some doctors hate to admit when they don’t know what’s wrong. When this happens, a condescending attitude is adopted, and the patients are made to feel somehow responsible for their condition.

If you are a fully functioning individual, take the time right now to thank God for that gift. Ask Him to give you sensitivity and mercy toward others who are limited in any way. According to James 2:13, mercy triumphs over judgment.

If you are a suffering servant, let me encourage you. You are not alone. I certainly understand. There are many who understand. But, most importantly, God understands. He understands suffering, and He understands being misunderstood. Jesus’ life was marked with both. He gets it. And He offers grace to those who need His empowerment to live above the cares of this world.

Run to Him.

Joy in Jesus,

Jacquee